Caution: Hard Hat Area

The truth about love

Posted in Emo by akosibananaman on August 5, 2012

Ikaw, ako, tayong lahat. May kanya kanya tayong mga kahulugan ng pag-ibig. Maaaring ito’y para sa iyong mga magulang na hindi nauubusan ng pang-unawa sa’yo, pwede rin namang para sa aso mo na sa tuwing makikita ka’y ang buntot niya’y nagmimistulang wiper ng kotse sa kalagitnaan ng malakas na bagyo.

Noon, akala ko ang pag-ibig ay isang napakasarap na pakiramdam na babalik-balikan mo. Nakakaadik. Nakahuhumaling. Ayaw mong tigilan. Parang canister ng Pringles na bagong bukas. Ganon. Marahil ay inaasam-asam mo ito ngayon o baka naman ay natagpuan mo na. Ngunit hindi lamang pala ito ang hatid ng pag-ibig sa’yo kaibigan. Tulad ng maraming bagay, ang pag-ibig ay mayroon din yin sa kanyang yang. May ka-akibat rin pala itong pasakit. Pasakit na maaaring magdulot sa’yo ng pinakamalungkot na kalungkutan. It’s a fuckin’ double-edged sword so be fuckin’ careful what you fuckin’ wish for. Pero syempre, joke lang. Kung inaakala mong tungkol sa paglalaslas, sa pagiging baliw sa pag-ibig, sa pagluluto ng pansit, o sa tamang paraan ng pag-amoy ng kilikili itong blog post na ito. Hindi. Wrong. Engkkk.

Joke lang ulit. Tungkol ito sa pag-ibig, well, in a good way.

Ang pagmamahal ng totoo ay kahit na nasasaktan na tayo at pinagdudulutan ng pinakamalungkot na kalungkutan, nakikita pa rin sa mga malalaki nating mga mata ang pag-asa. Pag-asa na muling babalik ang pinakamatatamis na salita na ingunguyngoy ng ating iniibig. Na muling babalik ang pagkasabik natin sa bagong canister ng Pringles. Na muli tayong mag-HHWWPSSPSL.

True love means sticking with each other. Huwag kayong umasa na mangyayari sa inyo yung mga napapanood niyo kila John Lloyd at Bea. Kila Gerard at Kim. Maaaring totoo ito, pero napapanood lang natin ang gusto nating makita. Hindi natin nakikita yung back-end, yung totoong nagtatrabaho to make the relationship work. At ito yung dalawang tao, na kahit sawang-sawa na sa sisig at grilled porkchop sa Faustina ay masaya pa ring kumakain ng magkahawak-kamay. That my friends, is true love.

Diba Myla La Torre? 🙂

Three things you should know

Posted in Emo by akosibananaman on August 5, 2012

Image

Hi Babe. First of all, I want to thank you – for everything that you have done for me, for caring, for waking me up every day, for cooking sobrang sarap dishes, and for always being there. Thank you.

I have to admit that these past few days have been terrible for us. I even thought we weren’t going to make it. Good thing you were there to save the day. You remained strong for both of us. And I admire you for that. I love you.

First things first, there are three things that I have to tell you:

I check out women on a daily basis. Sometimes, I even tell you that I’m checking them out. I don’t check them out because I want to be with them. We appreciate beauty. I’m a man. This is what men do. When we see someone attractive, we notice. It does not affect what we think of our relationship. I won’t have doubts with us just by looking at a nice pair of boobies for 2 seconds. Don’t get me wrong, I look at you all the time. And I appreciate your beauty each and every time. And this is why I tell you every time I check women out. To rid you of your insecurities, to subtly tell you that “Hey, I might be looking at those flawless legs but yours will always be better”. That even though I know your flaws, I don’t see you differently. I’ll always see you as perfect. You’re still the one I’ll be in love with.

I make fun of you a lot. This is to neutralize your perfection. I can’t think of you highly and be with you at the same time. I’d feel inferior. That’s how I am. I’m a clown and a jerk at the same time. Because with you, I feel comfortable. I can tell you everything about everything. I apologize if this has gotten way out of hand a lot of times. I promise to be better.

I really want to make our relationship work. This is that one relationship I will work my ass off in keeping. I’d go out of my way for this. I’d bet my ass on the line for us. I’d quit smoking. I’d peel bananas as a career. Whatever it takes. This is also the reason why we had this huge fight this weekend. I just want to be with you, and you alone. I love you Myla La Torre. You very pretty lady, you. Let’s stop being high school kids and start over. I love you from the bottom of the bottle of my San Mig Pale Pilsen. 🙂

My action-packed thriller blockbuster deals of 2011

Posted in Uncategorized by akosibananaman on December 31, 2011

Kamusta mga friends? Recap lang natin mga highlights ng 2011 ko para naman masabing may naikwento ako dito sa blog. Baka kase kako nagtatampo na kayo, e busy lang talaga ‘yung tao. 🙂

January – Choco loco nights sa poolside ng Riverfront, tambay nights sa 1608, at kantahan sa loob ni NQB (all three done with Lito and Lita), job hunting.

February – First job na hindi family-owned, first paycheck, Chic boy nights, start ng no-meat diet.

March – First laser tag game, pinagyaman ang pag-ibig para sa Chicboy at para sa isang dalaga. 🙂

April – The Script concert, First La Union trip, first 50-ft. wall climb, first 50-ft. rappel, end ng no-meat diet, potluck at CityLand P. Tamo, nabigo ang pag-ibig na pinagyaman noong Marso, nakilala ko si Myla sa totoong buhay. 😦

May – Kasal ni Iki (Robby Ong), naging stalker kay “Jessica” na usher ng kasal ni Iki, pinadalhan ako ni Myla ng choco cake na galing Korea  kahit hindi kami close dahil nagtampo ako at hindi ako nakakain ng birthday cake niya.

June – Chillax lang ang June.

July – Chillax lang din ang July. Ay shit! Incubus concert!

August – First Laoag-Vigan-Pagudpud trip, first planking photo, Paoay church is just amazing, nakuha ko na ang number ni Myla.

September – Nag-date kami ni Myla (sumimba, kumain sa isang karinderya, nagkape), first Sambokojin encounter, first overnight sa office.

October – Birthday namin ni Abet syempre.

November – Sorry, pero puro Myla itong buwan na ito. Date sa Greenhills, date sa World Trade, date sa Megamall (date lang ng date!), first 5K run, first Crave burger, first 13th month pay, first girlfriend ng 2011 (joke lang). :p

December – Christmas parties!!! First Vikings buffet, naglipat ng bahay (from Cristobal to Moret), naadik na ulit sa Coke (the soda), first bluetooth headphones (thank you!), unang Christmas party ko sa isang opisina (hindi man lang nanalo sa raffle, shet), Christmas dinner with the pinsans at Chili’s.

 

There you have it! Quick recap ng 2011 ko. Oh, naka-catch up ka na? Medyo okay naman. Feeling ko 2011 will forever be etched in my heart (wow). Still, bottom line is in love ako. Tumalino at kumeso. Feeling ko mas marami akong matututunan sa 2-0-1-2. So bring it on. Let’s do this!

 

The entry that will revive this blog

Posted in Emo by akosibananaman on October 8, 2011

Tonight is of those nights that I couldn’t figure out what’s wrong. I know something is, but I can’t fix it. It’s beyond repair, well, beyond my capabilities perhaps – and may I just say that my capabilities have been more than enough for other occasions. But not this kind. On nights like tonight, I suffer.

I suffer from loneliness. From not being able to do the things that I want. From not being able to know when to use a semi-colon (;). From not being content with what I have. I suffer. The void that sucks all the rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns from my ass. The void that I efficiently hide day by fucking day. The kind of void that is not stamped on receipts. That void.

When that void and that night collide, I kind of unleash this guy who posts on his blog with nonsense. I want to take over and just shrug this out like I always do. But I’m afraid that won’t happen just yet. Because tonight, I am he. Let’s stop this right here.

Tandang pananong

Posted in Emo by akosibananaman on May 13, 2010

Blog.

Ayun. Kamusta? Nakapagtapos na nga pala ako sa kursong aking napili. Ayun. Katulad nga ng sinabi ko e masarap talaga ang pakiramdam. Napakasarap. Hinding hindi ko malilimutan ang araw na ‘yun na inilipat ng aking ama ang tassel ko mula sa kaliwa papuntang kanan. Power steering ang tassel ko, FYI. At kinamayan ako ng dekano namin at syempre, ng mga propesor kong single and ready to mingle. Seriously? Who wants a date?

Pero ano na ang kasunod? Alam mo bang wala akong ka-plano plano sa buhay ko? Meron pala. Marami akong plano. Sa dami, hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasakatuparan ko. Ni hindi pa nga ako makapag-impake ng mga gamit ko e. ‘Yung mga brip ko hindi pa nalalabhan, andun pa ‘yung skid marks. Eeww. Ay nakalimutan ko pala sabihin sa ‘yo na papunta na ako ng Manila. Oo. Paluwas na ako bukas, para mag-review para sa nalalapit na Board Exams ng propesyong aking napili. Anim na buwan. Sana naman maging productive ako. Tangina. 24 anyos na ako sa darating kong kaarawan. Umayos naman sana ako, ‘di ba?

Marahil e takot pa rin siguro ako sa real world na kung saan e kelangan halikan mo lahat ng pwet na dapat mong halikan para manatili sa trabahong gusto mo o ‘di kaya’y magtiis sa trabahong ayaw mo dahil kelangan mo ng experience. Kaya ko naman e. Pero minsan hindi na ako maka-relate sa mga kaibigan ko na puro trabaho ang pinag-uusapan. Minsan nga nakikitawa na lang ako ‘pag nagtatawanan sila, nakikigulat ‘pag tipong nagulat din sila. Parang “Ano?! Pumapasok ka sa opisina ng walang brip at bukas ang zipper?” Parang ganyan.

Sa tingin ko kelangan ko na simulang seryosohin ‘tong buhay na ‘to if ever I still want the things I want. Pero katulad ng maraming tao, maraming simula na ang nagawa ko. Marami na rin akong nabigong simula, mga simulang hindi nasimulan, at mga sisimulang hindi pa nasisimulan.

Bahala na si Batman. Ganun naman lagi e. Things would work out. Cowardice, specialty ko talaga ‘to. Siguro I’d have to man up to live up to my expectations for myself. Chances are slim that that would happen pero I’d give it my best shot. Sa tingin mo, dapat ba akong mawalan ng pag-asa? Shempre hindi. Optimists kayo e. Good for you! I would like to end this blog with an intellectual quote sana but I can’t think of any. Sorry. Kaya ‘wag na lang siguro. Pwede question mark na lang? Parang buhay ko in the next few years.. ?

Tao po.. Tao po.. Namamasko po..

Posted in Random Thoughts by akosibananaman on November 16, 2009

Parang gusto ko maging active dito. So ito, ipo-post ko ang wishlist ko para sa darating na Pasko. Regaluhan niyo ako ha? Thanks!

Wishlist:

1.) Kalaban sa suntukan na hindi lumalaban preferably buhay na tao na hindi umaaray.

2.) Kung ang mga printer ngayon ay merong unlimited ink, gusto ko ng tasa na naglalaman ng unlimited na kape at hindi lumalamig.

3.) Isang pares ng brand new lungs.

4.) Masasarap na pagkain na walang halong cholesterol, fats, salts, o kung anumang sangkap na nakapagpapataba at nakamamatay.

5.) Isang diet program na hindi nag-iinvolve ng pagda-diet, pag-gising ng maaga para tumakbo, o mga bagay-bagay na nakakapagod.

6.) Cellphone na pwede akong magreply sa nagtext sa akin sa pamamagitan ng telepathy.

7.) Alarm clock na hindi ko kailangang magising at pindutin habang sinasabi ang mga katagang “5 minutes pa”. Gigisingin ako nito kung anong oras ko kailangan o gusto.

8.) Electric fan na merong supersonic waves na pumapatay ng mga lamok.

9.) T-Shirt na merong auto-fit na pwedeng i-complement ang aking mala-adonis na katawan however which way I want it to.

10.) At ang huli, isang pares ng sapatos na hindi magkapares pero mukhang cool.

Aasahan ko ang inyong mga regalo kase siyempre binasa niyo ‘to. Paki-PM na lang saken kung kelan at saan mo ipapadala. Thanks! Merry Christmas!

Pare, pa-blog.

Posted in Random Thoughts by akosibananaman on November 15, 2009

Sa totoo lang, matutulog na talaga ako. ‘Di ko rin alam kung bakit ako andito ngayon at nagta-type ng kung anu-ano dito sa bagong linis kong keyboard.

Teka, ano nga bang gusto kong iparating? Ahhh.. Wala pare. Napansin ko lang na wala na akong ina-update dito na may kabuluhan. Eh ayun, ‘eto namang post na ito e wala pa ring kwenta. So yun, okay naman siya.

Limang buwan na lang pare, ga-graduate na ako. Ang sarap maghintay. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam na bawa’t araw na nagdaraan e unti-unting napapalapit ako sa entablado na kung saan ang pangalan ko ay isisigaw. Totoo na kaya ito? Sana naman. Dahil kung hindi, katakot-takot na sermon at kutos na naman ang aking matatamo mula sa aking mga magulang. They have paid their toll now it’s time to give them their expressway. (lab0)

Pero tol, langya. Pakiramdam ko pa rin I still have to fulfill something. Meron akong kailangang maramdaman para maipagpatuloy ko ng maayos ‘to. Marahil ay pag-ibig. Pero maraming klase ng pag-ibig so hindi ko na rin i-specify. Baka kailangan e maramdaman ko ang pagmamahal ng isang electric fan. (‘di ako defensive, nililiwanag ko lang) O kaya ng alas na puso, para manalo man lang ako sa tong-its o in-between.

Anyway, ayun. Wala na namang kwenta. Itutulog ko na lang siguro ‘to. Teka, yosi muna tayo.

BananaMan Update: version 2.0

Posted in Random Thoughts by akosibananaman on May 27, 2009

Wala lang. Dahil naisip ko lang na makapag-blog ulit at ma-update itong WordPress account ko.  Shit. Crap. Fuck. Wala talaga ako ibang sasabihin dito kundi mga kung anu-anong nyaw nyaw na naman. Oh well, ito na. Update ko lang kayo.

Una, tapos na ang aking OJT at nalalapit na ang pasukan kung saan ako ay isang, wait for it, incoming graduating student! Palakpakan naman dyan! *applause sound effect playing in background*

Sa wakas, pagkatapos ng anim at kalahating taon ng pagtambay sa loob at labas ng paaralan, matatapos na rin ang kalbaryo ng mga magulang ko. Masusulit na rin ang kuwartang nilustay nila pambayad sa aking matrikula, ang mga na-kickback ko sa lahat ng gastusin at ang pagbili nila ng bagong uniporme, ballpen, notebook ng artista, at deodorant para sa akin tuwing pasukan.

Walang ka-highlight highlight ang bakasyon ko. Put*ng ina. Ayun. Meron pala. Umattend ako ng CEGP Conference. Astig sobra. Marami akong nasaksihan doon. Nag-uumapaw ng mga astig na tao. Isa na doon si Kuya Jepoy.

Hindi ko na ilalahad lahat ng bagay na tungkol kay Kuya Jepoy dahil baka isipin niyo e type ko siya dahil meron siyang abs. Pero ang galing niya (hindi dahil sa kanyang abs). Isa siyang bayani. Alam niyo ‘yun. Kung tutuusin e kaya niyang magkaroon ng matiwasay na buhay para sa kinabukasan niya. Magkaroon ng pamilya and the like pero isinantabi niya ang mga bagay na para sa sarili niya para ipaglaban ang karapatan ng mga tao sa mapayapang paraan. May ganoong tao pa rin pala.

Bigla kong naisip na there’s still hope for the Philippines if we had more people like him in our government. If our government were ran by people who cared. Kung tayo mismo ang magloo-lookout para sa kapakanan ng mga kababayan natin. E put*ng ina, ‘yung mga TnT sa ibang bansa, naloko na ng illegal recruiter, oonsehin pa ng mga walang kwentang kababayan natin at isusumbong para saan? Para sa put*ng inang reward. Be proud motherfuckers. Pera lang katapat niyo.

*hingang malalim*

Alright let’s stop at that. Nag-iinit lang dugo ko. The other one that amazed me was Ate Heidi. Simpleng babae. Pero matindi ang paninindigan para sa pagbabago rin ng bansa. Dedicated. Hands down ako. Wala na ako masabi kase feeling ko pag umabot ka (oo ikaw na nagbabasa) hanggang dito, e malamang antok ka na at sinasampal-sampal mo na sarili mo para magising.

Balik sa akin ang blog, wala akong kinababaliwang babae ngayon (pwede mo itanong saken kung ano number ko, wag ka mahiya. Ahihi *blushes*). Wala rin akong maipagmamalaki pa sa ngayon. Pero pagdating siguro ng BananaMan Update: version 3.0 e baka meron na kahit konte. Sige na, ang haba na nito. Ikamusta mo na lang ako sa nanay mo. At pakisabi nga pala dun sa nagxe-xerox sa NSO, t*ngina niya, ang mahal ng tinda niya.

Tagged with: , ,

2008 Blah Blah and Hello 2009

Posted in Random Thoughts by akosibananaman on January 4, 2009

Okay. Basically I don’t do this, but everyone’s got to learn new things right? So, here goes.

What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Nothing in particular, really. I learned how to drive (sayang, ‘di umabot sa 2008 ‘yung pagpa-park ko ng pa-atras… highlight yun!), I moved to a new house (or should i say “lungga”), started to plurk, (mimics the TV shopping voice) but wait, there’s more! Although I wanted to do basejumping sana… hmmm… Kailan kaya yun?


Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
New Years’ resolutions are overrated. Most of the things listed there remains there anyways. Will I make one? Sure. My New Year’s resolution for 2009 is not to make any New Year’s resolution at all, since I’m just making a fool of myself believing that I would do such, when in fact, I know I won’t.


Did anyone close to you give birth?
I know a few people who gave birth last year but we’re not really close. (what
Vea said)

Did anyone close to you die?
Again, I know some. But then we’re not really close also. (what Vea said)

What countries did you visit?
I visited uhm… yeah… and… oh… that’s about it.

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Let’s see… hmmm… I’ll be making a list then. And these things are:

  • money (who’s not lacking here?)
  • a new light saber (mine’s low on battery)
  • discipline
  • exercise
  • living-life-on-the-edge kind of activities
  • hair (i want more hair… enough said!)

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
Hmmmm… date? I think I’ll go with October 10, 2008. Yep. That’s it.


What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not throwing my life away for another year! I think that’s an achievement, uhh… right?

What’s your biggest failure?
I failed a lot of things so I lost count, but I treat every failure equally. Just like what the mother said on that Rebisco commercial, “Iba-ibang flavor, pero lahat love ko!”

Did you suffer illness or injury?
My heart was injured. Awww…

What was the best thing you bought?
My PSP. Oh yeah…

Where did most of your money go?
Food, Cellphone Load, Gadgets, Transportation fees, Shopping (what Vea said)

What did you really, really, really get excited about?
Takipsilim! hahaha…

What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
Boogie by Willie Revillame. Oh yeah… and David Cook’s album na rin.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
1. happier or sadder? so-so.
2. thinner or fatter? I’m not fat. I just gained weight.
3. richer or poorer? Poorer. Damn.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Save. Workout.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Idling. Sleeping. Smoking. Drinking.

Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
I used to spend most of my time on the phone with Vanessa.

Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yep.

How many one night stands in the last year?
I always stand. But not for one night only.

What was your favorite TV programme?
Prison Break. Heroes. Entourage. Chuck. Supernatural. Just to name a few…

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah. I don’t hate. It’s them who hate on me. Hehehe…

What was the best book(s) you read?
None.

What did you want and get?
I wanted to be single. I got it.

What were your favorite films of this year?
The Dark Knight. Pathology. The Wedding Daze.Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Pineapple Express. and more…

What did you do on your birthday?
Spent the whole day with Vanessa because it was our anniversary.

What kept you sane?
San Mig Light. San Mig Pale Pilsen. Red Horse Beer. Oh wait, that’s the opposite. Shit.

Who did you miss?
Miss…

Tell us a valuable lesson you learned in 2008.
I am not capable of loving a person unconditionally and infinitely. It just stops somewhere in the middle. *emo*

Tag anyone?
Hmmm… I tag… ANYONE!!!


I never regret anything that happened in the year 2008. Those are the things that made me who I am now so I give thanks for that.  Now, I have a New Year blog that tells almost nothing about my 2008! Well, I guess this is it! Goodbye and fuck you 2008! Hello 2009!

Tagged with:

The Real Bananaman

Posted in Emo by akosibananaman on November 18, 2008

i’ve done it again. i’m like britney spears with bigger boobs but not the silicon. from the first day i took our relationship head on, i thought of this day… that i’d snap back to my old selfish self again and not care about how the other end takes the blow. i just had to end it. again, another perfect girl i’ve hurt. another great relationship i’ve thrown away just like that.

i don’t know what they see in me. i’m an obese nerd who still lives with his parents, who still doesn’t have a degree, who doesn’t drive his own car. it’s just stupid. i wouldn’t even fall for myself. i’m terrible and i tend to hurt anyone who gets close to me. too close.

i make every girl i get-in-a-relationship-with feel that they are loved. a love like edward cullen’s love for bella. a love like that. but i must warn you, it wears off. like every perfume, it smells so good right at the very moment you apply it on you but as the day goes by, your skin starts to smell like skin again. like a magic spell that you dreamt of, too good to be real that it should stay a dream. i’m not bragging. that’s just the way i make them feel because i feel like doing those things for them. but the darkest part of it is that it wears off in a snap of a twig. and i wouldn’t even fight for what i believed in. i’d just walk away like a jerk that i am.

it was blissful – those 13 months of being with you. no other memory could ever replace that. the feelings that i’ve shared with you, they were genuine – i never faked anything. but i got tired again, my selfishness kicked in. i started thinking about how much better my life would be alone. and i thought it’d be better. well, now i’m worse than ever. but i can’t have you in my life. this pain is my own. i caused myself this and there’s nothing more i want to cause you. i broke it off with you so that you wouldn’t worry about me. i’m a burden. yeah, and a large one at that.

i loved you. but this love isn’t enough for me to stay. i will feel the emptiness again, i know. but i guess i’d have to deal with that on my own. thank you for wasting your time with me. i know you might not want to see me again and i will respect that. what i did to you is unacceptable. it’s beyond what an asshole would do. i’m more than an asshole. you deserve more. and i can’t give you that. i’m sorry.

goodbye vanessa, i hope you find what you want. as for me, i’m built for this. i will regret breaking it off with you. but i’m used to feeling like shit every now and then.

Tagged with: , ,